Midsummer murders in October
by Anikathepen
Summary: 30 superstars are stuck in a house and there is a murderer on the loose! Will they catch himher or will they all die! looks like it's up to detectives Anikathepen and Bannonluke to investigate!
1. A murder and an investigation!

Author: Anikathepen (with help from Bannonluke)  
  
Title: The WWE murder mystery  
  
Summary: 30 superstars are stuck in a house and there is a murderer on the loose! Will they catch him/her or will they all be murdered. It's up to Detectives Anikathepen and Bannonluke to investigate!  
  
******************  
  
Outside the haunted Mansion  
  
******************  
  
(The WWE bus is travelling towards the MCI centre when it suddenly and mysteriously breaks down! It is raining and there is thunder and lightening.)  
  
Vince: Damn it stupid lump of-  
  
Stephanie: Help Help! What's going on?  
  
Shane: Calm down, nothing major, we've just broken down.  
  
Stephanie: WHAT! I had an appointment with my beautician! I'll be late!  
  
Y2J: You have a BEAUTICIAN! Heh heh, I'd fire 'em if I were you Steph!  
  
(Steph slaps him)  
  
Y2J: OWWWWWWWWW!  
  
Vince: QUIET!  
  
(Angry muttering)  
  
Vince: SILENCE!  
  
(Silence)  
  
Shane: LOOK! There's a house!  
  
Stephanie: Maybe we can ask for help.  
  
Vince: I'm Vince McMahon Dammit! I will not ask for help from ANYBODY!  
  
(RVD walks forward.)  
  
RVD: Hey dudes! Somethin's up wit da truck.  
  
Vince: It's a COACH asshole!  
  
RVD: Man, chill! (Does thumb gimmick) everything's cool when you're RVD  
  
Shane: Well I'm not.  
  
RVD: cool?  
  
Shane: I'm not RVD!  
  
RVD: Dude what've you been smoking? Of course YOU'RE not RVD, I'm RVD!  
  
Shane: I know! I'm not RVD! OK!  
  
RVD: No dude, I'm not O-K I'm R-V-D!  
  
Shane: Whatever!  
  
RVD: You've DEFINITELY been smoking something'.  
  
Raven: Someone's smoking something? Can I have some?  
  
Both: NO!  
  
(Jeff Hardy reaches over the back of Vince's seat and taps him on the shoulder)  
  
Jeff: Er, Vince? Why don't we go ask whoever lives in that mansion over there if we can use their phone?  
  
Vince: I was just about to suggest that!  
  
Matt: Sure you were!  
  
Vince: I'm Vince McMahon Dammit!  
  
All: WE KNOW!  
  
Shane: Let's just go!  
  
*******************  
  
Outside front door  
  
*******************  
  
Doorbell: RING!  
  
(Long pause)  
  
Doorbell: RING!!!  
  
(Even longer pause)  
  
Doorbell: RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG! ! ! ! ! ! ! !  
  
(Very long pause)  
  
Molly: I don't think that anybody's there!  
  
(Door slowly swings open)  
  
Raven: You were saying?  
  
(They all walk in)  
  
Edge: Oooooh Posh!  
  
Kurt: Let's see if the have a kitchen, I NEED MY MILK!  
  
Edge: Milk?  
  
Kurt: The white stuff!  
  
Christian: The right stuff? Who's got the right stuff?  
  
Edge: Well not you for a start!  
  
Kurt: WHITE!  
  
Edge: Of course I'm right!  
  
Kurt: I- oh never mind!  
  
(Vince stands on stairs and starts yelling)  
  
Vince: hey! Hey! HEY! All of you! Listen to me!  
  
Shane: (through megaphone) HEY ALL OF YOU!  
  
(Everyone looks at him)  
  
Vince: (sulking) Why does everyone listen to him I'M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!  
  
All: WE KNOW!  
  
Shane: OK! It looks like this place is deserted so let's go upstairs and find somewhere to sleep.  
  
(Everyone agrees, they go upstairs)  
  
*********************  
  
That night  
  
**********************  
  
X-PAC: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!  
  
(Everyone runs into the room)  
  
Molly: MURDER! HELP! X-pac has been murdered.  
  
Edge: CALL THE POLICE!  
  
**********************  
  
The next morning  
  
**********************  
  
Detective Harriet: Well it looks like he's dead!  
  
Detective Luke: Yeah, well, we knew that!  
  
Detective Harriet: I'm not sure I like your attitude!  
  
Detective Luke: Nothing you can do sweetie! I'm your boss!  
  
(Anikathepen: (at her computer) Bannonluke my Boss? Where the hell did that come from?  
  
Bannonluke: (at his computer) Mwahahahahahahahaha!)  
  
Detective Harriet: If you call me sweetie I'll hit you!  
  
Detective Luke: Then I'll fire you.  
  
Detective Harriet: Damn!  
  
Vince: Have you reached a verdict inspector?  
  
Detective Harriet: Someone has killed X-pac!  
  
Detective Luke: What a pro!  
  
Detective Harriet: Shut up!  
  
Shane: do we know WHO killed him?  
  
Detective Luke: No, but you're all under house arrest until we find out!  
  
All: WHAT!  
  
Detective Luke: Sorry!  
  
Vince: You mean we are stuck in a house with a murderer, not allowed to leave until you catch the murderer? How long will that be?  
  
Detective Luke: Well we usually catch serial killers after their tenth consecutive victim!  
  
All: WHAT!  
  
Detective Luke: Well, which room is my room then?  
  
Shane: You're staying here?  
  
Detective Harriet: YAY!  
  
Detective Luke: Just until we catch the murderer, a matter of months!  
  
All: MONTHS!  
  
Detective Harriet: (to Detective Luke) let's go unpack!  
  
A/N heh heh! A murderer on the loose, house arrest, and now the world's most annoying inspectors come to stay! What do I say! Torturing innocent fanfic characters kicks ass! 


	2. A second murder and popcorn!

Author's note: God help me! I have way too many fics on the go here and I don't know which ones to update! I won't post any new ones until I have at least 3 more fics finished Ok! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter and thanks to Bannonluke for planning this fic with me.  
  
***************  
  
In The Big bedroom (where about ten of the men are sleeping)  
  
***************  
  
Vince: (mumbling) Why do I have to share a room! I'm Vince McMahon Dammit!  
  
(No one answers, there is only snoring)  
  
Vince: (to himself) I'm probably sharing a room with the damn murderer, I could be next! I won't stand for this. (Shouting) I'm VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!  
  
(Everyone else wakes up)  
  
Rock: What in the blue HELL is going on!  
  
Shane: Who was yelling?  
  
(Vince looks guilty)  
  
Christian: Dammit I was having a good dream!  
  
Edge: Wow! Did you dream you got a decent gimmick and ring attire?  
  
Christian: Shut up Blunt!  
  
Edge: Shut up Moron!  
  
(They fight)  
  
Christian: OWWWWWW!!!  
  
(A whole group of people burst in from next door)  
  
Maven: Oh My God! Edge is trying to murder Christian!  
  
Chris Nowinski: He must be the murderer!  
  
(They grab Edge)  
  
Edge: Hey wait! I wasn't trying to kill him! What are you DOING!  
  
****************  
  
Detective Harriet's room (she got her own room hahahahahahaha)  
  
****************  
  
Detective Harriet: Wow! It look's like we've caught the murderer. AW! I was enjoying my holiday! I'd better go find that other guy.  
  
Maven: Detective Luke?  
  
Detective Harriet: (annoyed) YES! The annoying guy who docked my pay when I wouldn't share my popcorn with him!  
  
Nowinski: YOU HAD POPCORN?!  
  
Detective Harriet: (Nervously) Yes..  
  
Maven: GIMME!!!  
  
(Note: The wrestlers haven't eaten in 24 hours)  
  
Detective Harriet: (snatches up popcorn bag) HELP!!!!!!!  
  
(Knock on the Door)  
  
Detective Luke: (Walking in) What's going on in here? (spots popcorn bag and grabs it) MINE!  
  
Detective Harriet: HEY!!!  
  
Maven: How come you lot get popcorn and we don't!  
  
Detective Luke: Because we're wonderful! (to himself) Plus we are the authors of this fic and can have as much popcorn as we like.  
  
Edge: (confused) What's a fic?  
  
Maven: Authors?  
  
Edge: What does that mean Chris?  
  
Nowinski: Um..  
  
Maven: YEAH! The Harvard graduate will tell us!  
  
Nowinski: er..  
  
Edge: Tell us!  
  
Nowinski: (breaks down in tears) I'M NOT A HAVARD GRADUATE! I USED TO BE TOILET CLEANER THERE! THAT'S HOW I GOT THE JACKET AND THE RING! WAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Detective Harriet: I didn't know Chris Nowinski was a toilet cleaner!  
  
(Bannonluke: At his computer, HA HA HA! Take THAT Jerkinski!)  
  
Detective Luke: So what WAS going on in here?  
  
Detective Harriet: We've caught the murderer!  
  
Detective Luke: Already! Oh well let's go home. (turns to leave) Bye everyone!  
  
Maven: Don't you even want to know who it is?  
  
Detective Luke: Huh? Oh yes! Who is it?  
  
Detective Harriet: Edge.  
  
Detective Luke: OK, Edge is under arrest then.  
  
Detective Harriet: Shouldn't we question him first?  
  
Detective Luke: You can, I'm off to find more popcorn!  
  
(he leaves)  
  
Detective Harriet: Well Edge, I'm charging you with murder of,  
  
???: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
(They all rush off towards the screaming)  
  
Edge: Triple H is dead!  
  
Detective Harriet: EDGE! How could you! Wait a minute, you were right here the whole time, you couldn't have murdered him. YOU'RE NOT THE MURDERER!  
  
Edge: I've been telling you that all night!  
  
Maven: That's two murder victims, you'll catch the murderer soon right.  
  
Detective Harriet: In about eight victims time probably.  
  
Nowinski: Probably?  
  
Detective Harriet: Well, sometimes it takes . . . longer.  
  
Maven: Longer?  
  
Detective Harriet: But we've never had one that's gotten away with murdering 50 before. One got close though, with 47 victims over 4 months.  
  
(Chris Nowinski faints in terror)  
  
Detective Luke: (enters) Hey guys, what's with the screaming?  
  
Maven: There's been another murder! Where were you.  
  
Detective Luke: Kitchen. Guess what?  
  
All: WHAT?  
  
Detective Luke: They have a years supply of popcorn in the fridge!  
  
All: YAY!  
  
************  
  
Author's note: feedback please! Anyone who correctly guesses who the murderer is gets a Gold star and a place on the Winner's list at the end. (Bannonluke, you are NOT allowed to submit a guess!) 


	3. A possible third murder and some strange...

Author's note: Hello everyone! Today is a Happy, Happy, HAPPY, day! I don't know why, it just is. Hello to Jeff's favourite skittle, my faithful reviewer waves and hello to everyone else who reviews my stories. (For all non-British people a Bog is a toilet)  
  
*************  
  
In the Kitchen  
  
*************  
  
Detective Harriet: (Dazed) Popcorn . . . so much . . . Popcorn!  
  
Detective Luke: (manic) popcorn, Popcorn, POPCORN!  
  
Nowinski: Popcorn is bad for your health, we should find some nice sprouts instead.  
  
Detective Luke: Shut up Bog man.  
  
All: Bog man?  
  
Detective Luke: Yes, Nowinski is a . . .  
  
Nowinski: (Grabs kitchen knife) menacingly Say it! I dare ya!  
  
Detective Luke: Ok then, Nowinski's a . . .  
  
Nowinski: NOOOO!  
  
Detective Luke: But you dared me to say it, I have to!  
  
Nowinski: (sighs and drops knife) I didn't mean it?  
  
Molly: Then why did you say it?  
  
(Detective Luke notices at Molly and stares, transfixed.)  
  
Detective Luke: (Seductivly) Why hello there! I'm Luke, I'm a detective, I'm also single! You?  
  
Molly: (A little frightened) H-hi I-I-'m  
  
Detective Luke: Available? Please say available?  
  
Molly: (Confused) Available???  
  
Detective Luke: AVAILABLE! HALLELUJAH!!!!  
  
(Detective Harriet slaps him)  
  
Detective Harriet: Get a hold on yourself!!!  
  
(Looks down.)  
  
Detective Harriet: And a cold shower, God!  
  
Molly: Don't shout at him! You'll hurt his feelings!  
  
(Detective Harriet looks confused and then Laughs.)  
  
Molly: What?  
  
Detective Harriet: Hahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha  
  
Molly: What?  
  
Detective Harriet: Hahahahahahahahahaha  
  
Molly: WHAT!!!!  
  
Detective Harriet: (Stops laughing abruptly) Nothing.  
  
Molly: Did she hurt your feelings Lukey darling?  
  
Detective Luke: Um. . . yes!  
  
(Molly Hugs him, Oh my poor darling!)  
  
Detective Harriet: (Pretends to vomit) oh, please!  
  
Molly: (to Luke) Don't Worry about her,  
  
Detective Harriet: Come on, let's go.  
  
(She walks to the door, realises Luke isn't with her, walks back, prises him away from Molly and drags him through the door.)  
  
*************  
  
Bannonluke: (at his computer) HEY!!!  
  
Anikathepen: (At her computer) Ha ha ha!  
  
Bannonluke: We'll just see about that!  
  
*************  
  
(Detective Harriet suddenly realises Luke is not behind her and turns to see him and Molly Making out in a corner.)  
  
Detective Harriet: How the hell did THAT happen?  
  
*************  
  
Christian: Edge?  
  
Edge: Snore.  
  
Christian: Edge?  
  
Edge: Snore.  
  
Christian: EDGE!  
  
Edge: Huh? What?  
  
Christian: (Hugs teddy bear) I had a nightmare!  
  
Edge: Christian!  
  
Christian: Can you give me a hug? Please?  
  
Edge: (Checks to make sure no-one else is awake) Ok then.  
  
(they hug)  
  
Edge: Now go back to bed.  
  
Christian: My bed will give me nightmares though!  
  
Edge: Christian! I thought you outgrew this when you were eight!  
  
Christian: Can I come in with you? Please?  
  
Edge: Sighs Ok then.  
  
(They snuggle up together)  
  
Edge: I still don't like you ya know!  
  
Christian: That's fine, I don't like you either.  
  
Edge: Night Night  
  
Christian: Snore.  
  
****************  
  
Kurt: (Sleep-talking) mmmm, Milk. . . it's got calcium . . . it's so white and creamy . . .  
  
Y2J: Kurt, Would you PLEASE shut the hell up!  
  
Kurt: Huh?  
  
Y2J: You were talking.  
  
Kurt: Oh, sorry.  
  
Y2J: Night Night  
  
Kurt: (sleep-talking) mmm. . . Stephanie . . .  
  
Y2J: Stephanie? MY Stephanie! (Hits Kurt) MY STEPHANIE!!!  
  
Kurt: What?  
  
Y2J: (Embarrassed) Nothing!  
  
(They both go to sleep)  
  
Shane: (muttering) Stephanie eh? Wait until daddy hears about this! (Laughs evilly)  
  
**************  
  
Detective Harriet: (Sulking) Luke gets a girlfriend and I get a serial killer case to solve! This is SO unfair!  
  
???: ARGH!!!  
  
Detective Harriet: Oh great, here I am trying to mope and people insist on screaming. (Pauses) Screaming! Murder!  
  
(She runs off towards the screaming, she opens a door to find Stephanie standing on a chair screaming)  
  
Detective Harriet: What's going on?  
  
Stephanie: (Wailing) There was a SPIDER!!!  
  
Detective Harriet: (Sigh) I thought that you'd been murdered, But you haven't!  
  
Stephanie: Well there's no need to sound so disappointed about it!  
  
???: ARGH!  
  
Detective Harriet: Maybe someone HAS been murdered this time.  
  
*****************  
  
Batista: Christian has been murdered!  
  
Randy: No he hasn't, there's no body.  
  
Batista: The murderer must have kidnapped him!  
  
Randy: There's a kidnapper as well!  
  
Detective Luke: (enters room with Molly hanging off his arm) What's going on?  
  
Batista: Christian has been kidnapped!  
  
Molly: (not really caring) I'm sure he's fine, send out a search party, Luke and I can go and check some places. Like a broom closet . . .(winks)  
  
Detective Luke: Ok.  
  
*******************  
  
Anikathepen: HOLD IT!!!  
  
Bannonluke: What?  
  
Anikathepen: Molly is innocent and sweet! She doesn't drag men into broom closets!  
  
Bannonluke: Spoilsport  
  
*******************  
  
Rewind 2 mins  
  
*******************  
  
Batista: Christian has been murdered!  
  
Randy: No he hasn't, there's no body.  
  
Batista: The murderer must have kidnapped him!  
  
Randy: There's a kidnapper as well!  
  
Detective Luke: (enters room with Molly hanging off his arm) What's going on?  
  
Batista: Christian has been kidnapped!  
  
Molly: OH No poor Christian, you'll save him won't you Lukey!  
  
Detective Luke: Er. . . Ok.  
  
Molly: Oh My Hero!!!  
  
(Luke grins smugley)  
  
Detective Luke: Ok I'll go find Christian. You guys wait here.  
  
???: (from upstairs) ARGH! HELP!!!  
  
Detective Luke: Oh No not again!  
  
**********************  
  
Author's note: Has there been another murder? Will they catch the killer? Send in your guesses, one per chapter. Thanks for reading! 


	4. A murder, a nonmurder and Hijinx galore

Author's note: Hello everyone. Fanfiction.net finally unblocked me, YAY! Now I can update my fics. Good luck to Luke and everyone else who is in the middle of their GCSE's or other various exams. I've just completed my ICT exam (took it a year early) and it was really easy so I'm HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. No more exams until June 21st!  
  
********************  
  
Main Bedroom  
  
********************  
  
Jeff: Big Show has been murdered!  
  
Shannon: Oh My God look at all the blood!  
  
Detective Luke: (enters with Molly) Another murder?  
  
Detective Harriet: You took your time getting here.  
  
Detective Luke: Well, I . . . um . . . got lost.  
  
Molly: I got lost too!  
  
(Detective Luke and Molly swap smug glances)  
  
Detective Harriet: (Groans) Can't the murderer pick one of you off next?  
  
Detective Luke: I heard that!  
  
Molly: She's so mean! (turns to Detective Luke) Not like you!  
  
Detective Luke: (smugly) Oh yes I'm wonderful!  
  
Detective Harriet: Did you drug her popcorn or something?  
  
Detective Luke: Ssssshhhh!  
  
(Anikathepen: You did WHAT????  
  
Bannonluke: (defensively) just kidding!  
  
Anikathepen: (Suspicious) hmmmm. . . .)  
  
Jeff: Well in case you haven't noticed there's been another murder!  
  
Detective Luke: Shut up Rainbowhead of course we'd noticed.  
  
Detective Harriet: (taking notes) Big Show found lying unconscious in a huge puddle of blood.  
  
(Big Show sits up and groans, Everybody screams)  
  
Molly: ZOMBIE!!!!!!!  
  
Big Show: (Reaches behind him) Damn, I fell asleep on the ketchup bottle again!  
  
All: Ketchup!!!  
  
Big Show: Did you think was dead? You guys wanted me dead! WAAH!  
  
Detective Harriet: Well, now you're up you can join our search party. We think Christian is dead!  
  
Big Show: really? You're not just saying that to cheer me up?  
  
Detective Harriet: Nope, it's true!  
  
Big Show: Cool!  
  
*****************  
  
Kurt: Edge! Edge! Help! Christian has gone! Christian is missing! Christian is. . . here!  
  
Christian: (sleepy) Huh? What?  
  
Kurt: Oh God you're alive!!! I mean. . . thank God you're alive!  
  
Christian: You thought I was dead?  
  
Kurt: (uncomfortable) No!  
  
Edge: Well, he's fine!  
  
Kurt: What was he doing in your bed?  
  
Christian: (shiftily) Nothing.  
  
Kurt: Nothing?  
  
Christian: NOTHING!  
  
Kurt: fine, I don't want to argue before I've had my milk.  
  
Edge: Milk?  
  
Kurt: Yes . . . It has calcium!  
  
(Edge and Christian throw their pillows at Kurt)  
  
Kurt: Waaah! I need my milk. NOW!  
  
(Detective Harriet enters.)  
  
Detective Harriet: Any sign of Christian?  
  
Christian: yes.  
  
Detective Harriet: Really? Where?  
  
(Edge and Christian exchange glances.)  
  
Detective Harriet: Oh, you ARE Christian. Well you're not missing anymore so I can go for Popcorn.  
  
Christian: There's Popcorn? Why didn't anyone tell me?  
  
Detective Harriet: Because no one likes you.  
  
Christian: That's not true. Edge likes me.  
  
Edge: No I don't.  
  
Christian: (Bottom lip trembles) Not even a little bit?  
  
Edge: Nope.  
  
Christian: (Bursts into tears) I HATE YOU ALL!!!  
  
(Christian runs off, Detective Harriet looks questioningly at Edge who shrugs)  
  
Edge: He took that harder than I thought.  
  
******************  
  
Detective Harriet: (Looking at notes) X-pac and Triple H, what do they have in common?  
  
Y2J: They're Jackasses?  
  
Detective Harriet: Something more.  
  
Y2J: They're greasy slimeball assclowns?  
  
Detective Harriet: Then why is Raven still around?  
  
Y2J: Maybe the murderer just hasn't gotten to him yet.  
  
Detective Harriet: OMG! He could be next. I'd better protect him.  
  
Y2J: from who?  
  
Detective Harriet: The murderer!  
  
Y2J: Well maybe he is the murderer, you could be walking into a trap.  
  
Detective Harriet: How? It's my idea to protect him, not his. Besides he's too . . . Crazy, to be the murderer.  
  
Y2J: Aren't murderers usually crazy though?  
  
Detective Harriet: Yes! You're right. I'd better keep an eye on him for two reasons then.  
  
Y2J: Two?  
  
Detective Harriet: To stop him a) being killed  
  
b) killing someone else.  
  
Y2J: good idea. Why am I here anyway?  
  
(Bannonluke: Yes why IS Y2Jerk there?  
  
Anikathepen: Well, you were MIA so I needed a partner in crime.  
  
Bannonluke: Partner in crime PREVENTION.  
  
Anikathepen: Yeah, yeah, where were YOU anyway?  
  
Bannonluke: (Goes red) that's irrelevant! Get on with the story.  
  
Anikathepen: And where was Molly for that matter?  
  
Bannonluke: It's funny that you think I should know, because I don't.  
  
Anikathepen: I never said that you did!)  
  
Detective Harriet: You're my partner in crime prevention!  
  
Y2J: Why?  
  
Detective Harriet: Because you were one of the only three people who fitted the specifications.  
  
(Zoom in on Detective Harriet specification, 1) Hot - yes  
  
2) Blonde - Yes  
  
3) Male - Probably  
  
4) Canadian. - Yes)  
  
Y2J: oh - ok.  
  
Detective Harriet: (mutters) plus you look good in a towel.  
  
******************************  
  
???: ARGH!!!!!  
  
******************************  
  
Detective Luke: Oh no Billy Gunn is dead.  
  
Detective Harriet: Ok, once more with LESS feeling.  
  
Detective Luke: Well I don't like him much.  
  
Molly: I don't either  
  
Detective Harriet: How did you get here before me anyway I was only two rooms away.  
  
Detective Luke: Well I was only 1 room away.  
  
Detective Harriet: But the room next door is the shower!  
  
Detective Luke: (Defensively) So?  
  
Molly: SO?  
  
Detective Harriet: fine, fine.  
  
Y2J: I'm beginning to see a pattern here. HHH, Xpac and Billy Gunn, what do they all have in common?  
  
******************  
  
Author's note: Can you spot the pattern? Can our detectives? Can I update this story in the next week instead of putting it off for a month? All will become clear NEXT CHAPTER! 


	5. two murders no popcorn and a wet cat bei...

Author's note: Hey, I'm back and I've got my ICT result. ( I got an A ( PLEASE review WWE does Romeo and Juliet - I posted a new chapter and nobody read it! I'm so hurt! And when I'm hurt I don't write so mafia voice If you EVER want to see any updates again you will REVIEW WWE does Romeo and Juliet OK?  
  
Please read My bestest bud's fic it truly is awesome!  
  
p.s. AngryMew2 please don't be offended with what happens to you in the chapter!  
  
CHEAP PLUG great board. Go there and sign up if you like wrestling.  
  
**************  
  
flashback 5 seconds  
  
**************  
  
Y2J: I'm beginning to see a pattern here. HHH, Xpac and Billy Gunn, what do they all have in common?  
  
disembodied voices from the reviewers  
  
They are all former DX members!  
  
were they all once accused of being gay?  
  
Ew...Dengenrates. Gross.  
  
I KNOW! Any moron can figure out that they are all in DX!  
  
Hmm, members of DX are dying?  
  
Detective Harriet: Er. . . what was that?  
  
Molly: (jumps into Luke's arms) GHOSTS!!!  
  
All except Y2J: ARGH RUN!!!!  
  
(Y2J is left standing all alone)  
  
Y2J: Er. . . Hello? I've figured it out! I know the pattern? Don't you assclowns want to know? Hello? Anybody???  
  
***************  
  
Shane: Dad! Dad! You'll never EVER guess what I heard in the bedroom last night!!!  
  
(Bannonluke: You bloody Voyeur! You were spying on me and Molly???  
  
Anikathepen: (snooty) you two were looking for Christian!  
  
Bannonluke: I can dream can't I?)  
  
Vince: What did you hear son?  
  
Shane: Kurt and Y2J are both in love with Stephanie!  
  
Vince: After my Billions are they??? Shane!  
  
Shane: Yes Dad?  
  
Vince: (Evil laugh) eliminate them.  
  
*****************  
  
(Christian is sulking in the bathroom.) Christian: Nobody likes me. . . everybody hates me. . .  
  
Mean street Posse: guess I'll just go eat worms . . .  
  
Christian: Argh! How did you get here!  
  
Perry Saturn: This is where we end up when no one likes us anymore.  
  
Doink the clown: We just stay here forever. . .  
  
William Regal: And ever. . .  
  
Christian: Argh!!! (he tries to run away but the door has disappeared)  
  
Doink: You're one of us now. . .  
  
Christian: NOOOOO!  
  
(Dives through wall)  
  
Christian: Phew I'm safe. Now I need some friends. . .  
  
*********  
  
Main Bedroom.  
  
*********  
  
(Shane crouches in the wardrobe holding a lamp as a weapon)  
  
Shane: Mwahaha! Elimination time.  
  
(Kurt enters, Shane goes to hit him but Kurt moves and Shane only succeeds in spilling his glass of milk)  
  
Kurt: (On verge of tears) m-m-my m-m-MILK  
  
Shane: Oh My God, Sorry, sorry SORRY!  
  
Kurt: (angry) No one spills MY MILK!  
  
(He attacks Shane)  
  
Shane: Argh! Help!  
  
(Maven and Nowinski enter)  
  
Maven : Oh No Kurt is murdering Shane!  
  
Nowinski: HE must be then murderer!  
  
Maven: Wait are you sure?  
  
Nowinski: Huh?  
  
Maven: Well last time we were kinda . . . wrong.  
  
Nowinski: Well, we're right this time.  
  
Maven: Are you sure?  
  
Nowinski: I'm a Harvard Graduate Dammit!  
  
Maven: No you're not. You confessed, remember?  
  
Nowinski: grr.. . . let's turn him in!  
  
*********  
  
A room. Chris Jericho is all alone . . . or so he thinks  
  
*********  
  
Y2J: Hello? Detectives? I know what's going on! I've practically solved the case people!!!  
  
(A dark shadow creeps up behind him)  
  
Y2J: ARGH!!!  
  
(The dark figure swipes an axe at his head)  
  
Y2J: Bleugh! (He dies)  
  
**********  
  
Detective Harriet's room  
  
**********  
  
Maven: We've found him!  
  
Detective Harriet: Who?  
  
Nowinski: The murderer!!!  
  
Detective Harriet: oh, who is it?  
  
Both: Kurt Angle,  
  
Detective Harriet: oh really? Like Edge was the murderer huh?  
  
Maven: NO! we're right THIS time!  
  
Detective Harriet: (bored) ok Kurt I'm arresting you yadda, yadda. . . .  
  
Maven: What are you so grumpy about?  
  
Detective Harriet: I can't find Jericho anywhere!!! He was supposed to be back up here with my popcorn an hour ago!!!  
  
Maven: At least you know he hasn't been murdered! We caught the murderer!  
  
Detective Harriet: Good good, that just means. . . (horrified expression) You don't think he found another author, do you?  
  
(all gasp)  
  
Detective Harriet: Who could it be!!!  
  
(Angrymew2 sit nonchalantly at her computer.  
  
Anikathepen: It's YOU isn't it!!!!!  
  
Angrymew2: what??? NO!!!  
  
Anikathepen: Please give him back! I'll give you jeff!!!  
  
Angrymew2: OH OK!!!)  
  
Detective Harriet: (to maven) find Jericho will you dearie? Run along!  
  
Detective AngryMew2: hi everyone!  
  
Detective Harriet: (uses her authors powers to make her drop through a hole, the yowls of a wet cat being systematically poked apart the deranged chickens are heard) Haha! Stay away from my guy!  
  
Ghost of AngryMew2: I didn't go near your guy!!!  
  
Detective Harriet: You didn't? Whoops sorry.  
  
Ghost of Angrymew2: That's ok!  
  
Detective Harriet: alright!  
  
*********  
  
(Kurt Angle is handcuffed to a chair in Detective Harriet's room)  
  
Kurt: I keep telling you I didn't murder anyone!  
  
Detective Harriet: shut up!  
  
Detective Luke: He's right you know!  
  
Molly: Really?  
  
Detective Luke: Well there was another murder after you arrested him.  
  
Detective Harriet: Really? Who?  
  
Detective: Y2Jerk!  
  
Detective Harriet: WHAT??? He's dead!!! Noooo!!! Plus I arrested the wrong guy!  
  
Detective Luke: AGAIN! You're not very good at this are you?  
  
Detective Harriet: Oh Shut up!  
  
***********  
  
Main bedrrom  
  
***********  
  
Vince: Congratulations son! You've eliminated Y2J.  
  
Shane: No, dad! When I got there he was already dead!  
  
Vince: Of course son! (Taps nose)  
  
************  
  
Raven's closet (Yes he lives in a closet)  
  
************  
  
(Raven sits in the corner talking to himself, unaware that Detective Harriet is watching him)  
  
Raven: I always feel like someone's watching me  
  
Detective Harriet: DAMN!  
  
Raven: Huh? What?  
  
Detective Harriet: Oh you didn't know I was here? You're just crazy? Carry on!  
  
Raven: Get out of my condo!  
  
Detective Harriet: Condo?  
  
Raven: GET OUT!!!  
  
Detective Harriet: Fine! I know where I'm not wanted!  
  
Raven: Then why'd'ya come here in the first place?  
  
Detective Harriet: Shut it Moron!  
  
*************  
  
1 hour later  
  
*************  
  
Detective Luke: Raven is dead  
  
Detective Harriet: YAY!!!  
  
(Detective Luke looks at her suspiciously)  
  
Detective Luke: What are you so happy about?  
  
**************  
  
Author's note: MWAHAHAHAHA! Now who is it! And don't review too loudly or you'll scare the characters again. Just tell me who you think is the murderer, as many guesses as you like.  
  
Please review! 


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